Office Party
by KouenTaisa
Summary: Edward was glad that he had at least one good reason to keep from going to anymore office parties ever again. My first try at a humor fic! In time for the New Year!


Author: This story was written for MindOfTheChildishlyNaive. I owed her a fic and this is what she chose. /sighs/ It didn't quite live up to the set rating, but she liked it nonetheless. /grins/ This was the challenge she set for me.

**Ed/Roy**  
**NC-17**  
**Roy's Office  
sofa, underwear, skirt, handcuffs **

And this is what mine contained:

**Ed/Roy  
PG-13 to R**  
**Roy's Office  
sofa, underwear, skirt, handcuffs **

So I did better than I thought. Anyways, please read and review!

_Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. Just this fic!_

**Office Party  
Oneshot **

Edward was glad that he had at least one good reason to keep from going to anymore office parties ever again. He also had a very good reason to never ever get in a fifteen mile radius of a drunk Roy. Edward knew that the guys had gotten in a good laugh (or twenty) at his expense, hell, everyone had.

It wasn't every day that the great (and short) Edward Elric pranced around Headquarters in nothing but his boxers and a blue skirt, curtosy of Ross. Roy, drunker than ever, had smirked and shouted out the most perverted things...causing the others to laugh all the harder. _Damned bastard colonel and his smug ass..._ he thought to himself with a sigh.

Even Hawkeye laughed at his pitiful position, and then the damned woman had to suggest, _of all things_, handcuffs...HANDCUFFS! Edward Elric knew that he would never live this down...but most of all he was glad that Alphonse hadn't been there to witness it. A sigh left the Fullmetal Alchemist as he looked over at the Colonel, currently passed out on the sofa in his office. Pissy assed drunk, is all that Edward could say about his lover.

_"Cmon Ed-chan..." Roy had tried to coax him out of the rest of his flimsy clothing. A pair of pink boxers, that he mortally hated, and the blue skirt. Edward had squirmed away from him with a glare, amber eyes at least holding some of his dignity. _

_"Awww...don't be sore bout it. The lil puppy wants ta come out an play."_

_Edward's glare could not overcome the dark blush that stained his cheeks from Roy's perverted comment. It wasn't the first one, but he was getting tired from blushing and glaring at the same time. Being as caught up in his thoughts as he was, he didn't notice that Roy had moved until he felt the slim arms around his waist and the warm breath over his cheek. Edward wanted nothing more than to give into Roy then, but that would be a mistake. Yet the alchemist thought to himself: **My whole life is full of mistakes...so this wouldn't make a difference. **_

_"Fine, useless Colonel."_

_And with that Edward sealed his fate. Apparently, Roy's house was too far away and he thought (as drunk he was) that his sofa would be a good place to get fucked silly. But then, to Roy, even the desk would be an awesome place to get banged. The chibi alchemist just had to sigh at that thought, and blush as well. Roy chuckled into his ear as he took off the rest of Edward's clothes and let the handcuffs fall to the ground with a clank._

_After that they preceeded to the sofa, lips on lips and hands roaming over feverish skin. A moan of desire escaped Edward as he arched into Roy's hands on his cock. The drunken smirk on his lover's face was priceless. He could remember being shoved onto the sofa, Roy's hands all over his body. And then, the sudden pain of a finger entering him gently, but with force. Edward tensed as he arched off of the sofa slightly, a unintelligable sound escaping his lips._

_Roy slowed the intrusion as he kissed the swollen lips of the one underneath him. As much as he didn't want to cause his lover pain, he wanted to make him his as well. With a gentle force he moved his finger inside of Edward, ignoring when the younger man whined in the back of his throat. A cute sound for a lil puppy, but not for Ed-chan. Soon, after adding three more fingers despite Edward's protesting, Roy decided that he was adequately prepared._

_"I promise not ta hurt ya, anata." Roy stated with one of his rare smiles. Edward just nodded silently, he couldn't lose much else to the bastard besides his virginty, so why the hell not just lose that too? He could remember a blinding pain when Roy first started to push his cock in past his tight ring of muscle. It'd felt as if someone where trying to rip him in half, but he knew that it would soon subside._

_And of course he was right. Soon Edward was moving back on Roy in pleasure, their bodies creating a sweet friction together. Their first time didn't last very long, but he didn't really care. It was the best that Roy'd ever had, and Edward didn't mind it much either since it was his first (and best) time. Afterwards, Roy had passed out on the damned sofa with his arm around Edward._

Edward smirked as he grabbed Roy's clothes and put on his shirt, which was too big. He then preceeded to put his boxer's back on before sneaking out of the office with the rest of Roy's clothes. As he expected, Havoc and the others jumped on the scene like scavengers, the flashing of a camera following their entrance. The Fullmetal Alchemist laughed as he hummed to himself.

He knew that the next day Roy would be very angry at the pictures that his subordinates showed everyone. Their Colonel naked and passed out on his sofa, no clothes in sight. Edward could just hear his angered yell of, "FULLMETAL!"

_Wait... _he thought to himself as he turned around. The sound of an explosion reached his ears before he saw Roy rush out of his office, stark naked.

"Shit!" and with that Edward quickly ran down the hallway and towards the small apartment he was sharing with Al. The chibi alchemist smirked though as he thought, _I'll have to get Havoc to make me some copies of those pictures... _

Author: I mostly stick to angst, but I got some fun out of writing that. Anyways, I hope that you enjoyed this story that was posted up just in time for the New Year!


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